john-o's Journal

2:15am: amy, will you marry me?

11:38pm: well then
youve got to be fucking kidding me, son.

well.

irelands fucking wonderful.

i hate america and do not miss it in the least.

amys still gorgeous as fuck and that pisses me off. whatever.

heil hitler!

8:44pm: amy took a bitchin quiz, yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo.

.. er. yeah.

edit "easy marks for a sleazy con-man" is my favorite phrase.





Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

You enjoy a good fight, physical or intellectual. You also enjoy the finer things in life, and positions of power and wealth where your skills and abilities can be best put to use. You are sometimes prone to arrogance and a feeling of superiority but that's because you've gained such skills and achievement that set you apart from the rest. You seek the company of people who are as skillful and accomplished as you in order to rise higher. You are a dominant, and forceful man - a true champion who will get what he seeks out of life!

12:22am: its hilarious how amy runs when i put silent hill 2 in the psx.

shes cute. using me for my nice videogames, but all the same, cute.

1:42pm: how long will this one last? three days? haha.
i havent the time for this petty shit my parents are pulling. getting everything ready to go on a "holiday" in england. yes, which is why we're packing everything, right? fuckers.

i dont want to be in england. i have too many bad memories with that place, and the place i lived. i dont want to go back, and i dont want to see any of my old friends. they're all stupid gits who probably want me to tell them everything about sex. fucking morons.

bleh. i'm going for a drive, and for a smoke. later.

9:20pm: i really dont want to go to england next month.

2:13pm: i'm bored. so sue me.
SEX

1) have you had sex more than once: yep.
2) tried any other positions besides missionary: yyyyyep.
3) used your hands for sexual purposes on a partner & vice versa: yes.
4) performed and/or received oral sex: both. go john!
5) swallowed: 'course.
6) done 69: yes'm.
7) used food for sexual purpose: no. too messy.
8) had sex in a car: hrm. i don't think so..
9) had sex in a public place: school! HAHAHAHA.
10) had soreness or pains due to sexual activity: yes. ;\
11) stripped for someone or a group of people: yes, and i should become a male stripper.
12) had anal sex: ick. fuck no. shit-dick is not for me.
13) had sex with someone you barely knew: no.
14) spent the night in a bed with someone of the opposite sex, without anything sexual happening: hundreds of times. :D
15) practiced any weird fetishes: maybe.


DRUGS

1) smoked cigarettes: yes.
2) drunk alcohol: of course.
3) puked from drug usage: mmhmm.
4) sniffed permanent markers or white out to get "high": no, but i sniffed the scented markers because it smelled like orange tic tacs. mmmm.
5) smoked the killer weed [marijuana]: yes yes yes yes!
6) smoked crack, or any other drug: yep.
7) tried heroin in any form: yep.
8) tried ecstasy: yep again.
9) bought illegal drugs: i've never had to buy them.
10) sold illegal drugs: 'course.
11) had drugs in your possession at school: haha, yes.
12) done any unusual drugs: purple haze.
13) took sleeping pills: yes.
14) took caffeine pills: aye, son.
15) used 3 or more drugs at once: yes, and i dont think i'll do it again.
16) tripped acid: yes.
17) overdosed: yes.
18) taken something you didn't know what it was: of course.
19) gone to school/work on drugs: yes, and it was bloody funny.
20) been caught by your parents while you were on drugs: too many times.


that was FUN.

5:30am: yef.
i havent touched any coke for the past .. three days. go john.

i'm at a loss for words. but, i love you, and i always will.

8:51pm: school was fun. i skipped the last half of the day to go to amy's. :D someone needs to keep her company when she feels crappy. she slept for hours though, so i took a nap as well. then amy woke up. and we talked.

she's gorgeous.

10:54pm: haha.
sam, you're just like fucking kirt. you cant think for yourself, and you do whatever someone else wants. i have no idea how you manage failing at everything, but have a go at it a little more. maybe you'll get really fucked over.

fucking pussy shithead.

11:58am: lonely sleep.
i had to sleep on my stomach. i rolled over in the middle of the night, and shot up out of bed. my back is so bloody sore. but hey, it'll be fine in a few days.

i love amy. stay away from her.

11:43pm: fucking dipshit.

8:13pm: ow.
i got another tattoo today. on my back.. like.. the er, left shoulderblade thing. it fucking hurts. but amy picked it out, and she always does that well. i'll like it more when it's not hurting so much, and i can move normally.

no sex for john with this thing hurting so much.

2:24am: wise words.
you never really hate someone, until you murder them.

11:15am: that's right.
my messy hair makes me look like i've had my brains fucked out. which isnt a pleasant thought because i like my brains. i just woke up with messy hair.

for some reason i remembered sleeping over my friend jason's house once. and when i woke up, i was covered in some warm liquid (narsty!) but it made me think i was in a pool of my own blood - an all too familiar feeling.

but his waterbed broke.

so i wasnt shot.


anyway. i think my dad is sick or something, because he went somewhere today, and'll be back tomorrow... and he didnt leave me $200 like he usually does. he probably thinks i'll spend it on coke, but i get that shit for free.

er. i dont want it, though. no.

im going back to bed.

3:45am: sometimes i enjoy it.
there are times i cant come to terms with my own bloody feelings. times i dont even know if i have them.

but then i think of amy, and im just so overcome with emotions - good or bad - that i'm reminded i'm human. i'm not the ferocious bastard people think i am.

but i AM, godfuckingdamnit. and i hate it. i hate myself.

but i dont hate myself.

i tried making amy jealous tonight, and i'm not sure it worked. i dont care. i don't want her to feel negative things because of me. i want her to be happy, and alive. i bring her down, when she gives me so much.

people would kill for what i have - though sometimes i dont know why.

perhaps being a sociopath isnt fun.

10:29pm: fuck those fucking fuckers.
wheres johnny been at? aw shit, jerome.

anyway.

i've been going to group therapy every wednesday for the past few weeks. apparently i need help. APPARENTLY it's bad to be addicted to cocaine. APPARENTLY i like saying APPARENTLY.

in other news, i beat the living hell out of kyle in school yesterday, which was bloody fun let me tell you. the little shit said something about my good friend tamoura, and seeing as her boyfriend wasnt around, i took the role of slamming his head against the staircase railing.

it frightened tamoura a bit. then again, blood spattering on the stairs is quite a silly thing.

valentine's day was fucking. god, i bloody hate that holiday.

does this make sense.

some fucking FAGGOT comes up to me, with a shitload of fake fucking flowers, and a few silly ass cards. and has the fucking ARSE to go "can you give these to amy?" WHAT THE FUCK. NO. i threw them out in front of the little faggot. fucking queer.

yeah, i'll deliver your shitty valentine's to my amy.

fucking fucks.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

alright, im done. im off for a walk or something similar.

1:54am: pffft.
robbie's gonna get a beating from johnny.

fxcker

mleh.

edit :: OH MY CHRIST I'M PINK. thats bloody wrong. wrong. i need to shoot myself.

9:57pm: amy, stop. just fucking stop taking them.
i love amy, but shes evil.

Take the "Which Nationality Are You?" test at OuchCryManson Made by: gothichic666 and ecology

nice picture, lad. lmao

9:12pm: fucking. quiz things. theyre bloody addicting. haha, i know a thing or two about addiction.



Are you seme or uke? Find out!

11:59pm: hot damn.
i'm so great. you know you want me.

i'm a bad boy, who amy has renamed hannibal.

but she better not go out with blake, HINT HINT.

or i'll make him admit he's really a girl, or something similar.

yes, sam, i will take over england.

my mother is fucking my father.

ellen is stoned.

jimmy is gay.

all's well that ends well.

5:13pm:

I took the What Mythological Creature Are you? test by
peacefulchaos !

12:51pm: hahaha
i wonder how fucked over i am with this incident. too bad.

1:37am: blake is hilarious
i'm on the bloody phone with blake. he's fucking hilarious.

i'm tired, though. amy's gorgeous. she's mad, so she's not talking to me. wonder why she's mad, though.

fklghsfoighaoigd im going to go smoke some fucking weed with blake and them. later.

11:34pm: i'm going to kill someone.



I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE THIS.